SOME I GOT AND SOME I DID NOT. That sounds about right. This cusp always forces us, some of us reluctantly, to assess what we got, what we did, what we shed away, and all of those things that we didn’t. My family is still in 2014 assessing the past while I’m more than half way into January 1st, looking at my skeleton plan for the year looming ahead, wondering how things will shape up. Now that I’m here on the other side of the 33 rings of Bonsingak, and a scratchy midnight rendition of I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing, it’s time to do some mental housekeeping.
So here is what I wanted in 2014:
I wanted to get my travel journalism certificate from MatadorU.
I wanted to be a good structured grown up, with good habits and good time management skills. I wanted to eat breakfast at 8am instead of 1pm. I wanted to exercise three times a week instead of once every other month. Cook more. Hulu less. Take out the trash in a timely fashion. Decorate. Nest.
I wanted to move to South Korea and never return.
I wanted to save ridiculous amounts of money working at my comfy new South Korean job, put some of those annoying American debts to rest, show those student loans whose in charge, cut up that fee-happy credit card, and take my first real self-funded vacation.
I wanted to grieve in a safe place.
I wanted to quit drinking coffee and alcohol.
I wanted to heal.
I wanted to get married and then I didn’t and then I did again.
I wanted to learn how to do a yoga headstand.
I wanted to read every book on my reading list.
I wanted to make this blog awesome and amazing with sparkly shiny content.
I wanted to forge friendships that could take some mileage.
Some of those things I did. Some of those things I realized I didn’t want and some I didn’t do at all. And that’s ok. Life isn’t for plans. Life is for change and shaking things up and plot twists and the absolute disruption of our sense of control. That’s ok too. I like that, because some things I did do that I didn’t know I wanted to and that changed me. Some things I triumphed over without realizing they were going to challenge me and that showed me inner strength I didn’t know was there to be had. Some things I didn’t do that I now wish I had wanted to. It’s those things that form the substance around our skeleton plans. So this year instead of asking my friends and myself what they want to accomplish, I ask, what will you do that you don’t know you want to do, yet? What strengths will you discover that you don’t yet know are there to be had? What will you learn about yourself that will make you want to do something you never thought you would? Hmmm?